Joined Safra for their training programme for AHM. Had to start slightly earlier as Jackie gotta rush for work.
The running route today was about 20km, starting from Clubhouse –> Depot Road –> Canterbury –> Hort Park –> Kent Ridge Park –> Science Park –> Pasir Panjang Road –> Labrador Park –> Clubhouse.
I thought this week long run would be better than last week. But no, I felt terrible and mentally tired. I was still feeling ok when we started the run. But as we entered Canterbury, I had a hard time keeping up with Jackie and decided to not push anymore and just run at my own comfortable pace. The route was not helping at all too. Felt like crying as I struggled up some slopes and stairs at Kent Ridge. By the time I reached the top, I lost Jackie completely. Continued the run on my own, feeling more and more miserable.
Even when I ran down the slopes towards Pasir Panjang Road, I was not able to go as fast as before. It was very demoralizing and negative thoughts kept invading my mind. Finally reached the flat ground of the Pasir Panjang Road and at a petrol kiosk, I saw Jackie waiting for me. He has not forgotten me! (thanks goodness he waited). And I felt marginally better to see him. Took a short break and we started running again towards Labrador Park. Told him to go ahead as I was not able to keep up with his pace. Continued the rest of my run on my own and headed back to Clubhouse via Kampong Bahru, feeling much better at the end of the run. Glad that I completed all 20 km instead of giving up along the way when I was feeling so down.
I always thought running could relieved some stress. But this time, it seemed like the life stress is so great that it had a negative impact on my run. Felt so vulnerable, tired and unhappy. =(